| Lawful MARRIAGE IN ISLAM We have ran into a number of people over the past several weeks whos say that Muslima and Muslim can live together in the same house, for 90 days until they decide if thay are compatible. This is incorrect, incompatible with Islam and a danger to those who try to practice Islam but do not know that such an act is forbidden, and become confusing when Muslims are saying it is okay. I swear by Allah, azza wa jal, that Allah, azza wa jal, says in Holy Qur'an: Wala taqraboo alzzina innahu kana fahishatan wasaa sabeelan This can be translated "Nor come nigh to adultery: for it is a shameful (deed) and an evil, opening the road (to other evils)." 17:32. The arabic word, "zina" means both adultery and fornication and the term fahisha is something unclean. Nor come near means that one should avoid any circumstance where one might be positioned or inclined or likely to do such a think and for this reason Prophet Muhammad [P] said that the man and woman, lawful to one another for marriage, alone satan is the third party. "Some persons from Banu Hisham entered the house of Asma' daughter of Umays when AbuBakr also entered (and she was at that time his wife). He (AbuBakr) saw it and disapproved of it and he made a mention of that to Allah's Messenger (saaws) and said: I did not see but good only (in my wife). Thereupon Allah's Messenger (saaws) said: Verily Allah has made her immune from all this. Then Allah's Messenger (saaws) stood on the pulpit and said: After this day no man should enter the house of another person in his absence, but only when he is accompanied by one person or two persons." (Sahih Al-Bukhari Book 25, Hadith # 5403) "Abd-Allaah ibn Masood (RAA) said: I asked the Messenger of Allah (SAW), Which sin is worst in the sight of Allah? He said, To make any rival to Allah, when He has created you. I asked, Then what? He said, To kill your child for fear that he will eat with you. I asked, Then what? He said, To commit zinaa with the wife of your neighbour." (Reported in Sahih Al-Bukhaari, Hadith #492 and In Shaih Muslim, Hadith #90). "Rasulullah (SAW) explained: If one of you were to be stabbed in the head with a piece of iron it would be better for him than if he were to touch a woman whom it is not permissible for him to touch." (Reported by al-Tabaraani; see also Saheeh al-Jaami, 5045). This refers to the punishment for touching, so how about worse deeds, such as embracing and kissing, and even worse kinds of illicit activity? Rasulullah (SAW) said, "Whenever a man is alone with a woman the Devil makes a third." (Al-Tirmidhi 3118, Narrated Umar ibn al-Khattab, Tirmidhi transmitted it as authentic) note: So we should always try not to be alone with a woman who is not mahrum to us and not even go close to Zina. What makes two people lawful to each other as husband and wife in Islam or for intimancy is when: 1. The Ceremony is performed by a Muslim;He need not have special title or position but should be morally decent. 2. There is at least two male witnesses or one male and two female, all Muslims. 3. One party cannot be someone guilty of unlawful sex marrying a virgin. 24:3. 4. The parties cannot be so closely related they violate what is allowed in Holy Qur'an. 4:23. 5. If a husband divorces his wife (irrevocably), He cannot, after that, re-marry her until after she has married another husband and He has divorced her. 2:230 6. She cannot be and idol worshipper, but can be Christian of Jew. 2:221;5:5.[ See: Differing view] 7. She can marry Muslim only. 60:10. 8. She must not be in iddah, but have observed the waiting period. 9. She cannot be someone whom the father was previously married to. 4:22. 10. She should have consent of her wali, with priority to father, grandfather, uncle, step-father, brother and son, and if neither of these are Muslim or not available the the Imam or community leader should be the wali. The brother-in-law and cousin would be very bad choices. 11. You should have a contract and the best contract is one that is drafted and written in clear language which the common person can understand and it must include the dower at a minimum clearly spelled out and how it will be given. If the Wali refuses to consent to marriage to a brother who is Islamically acceptable then the sister should go to the next person in order of priority for his consent and if none consent continuously she should go to the Imam and if they all still refuse then the Imam should be her wali. Having posed the original question and gotten some response we post this information for those who might benefit from it. as a follow up, and further advise that there may be some 'exceptions' to 'application' of what is posted here depending on varying circumstances |
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| And among His signs is this, that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that you may dwell in tranquillity with them, and He has put love and mercy between your hearts. Undoubtedly in these are signs for those who reflect. (30:21) *********************************************************************************************** And Allah has made for you your mates of your own nature, and made for you, out of them, sons and daughters and grandchildren, and provided for you sustenance of the best. (16:72) *********************************************************************************************** "O you young men! Whoever is able to marry should marry, for that will help him to lower his gaze and guard his modesty." (Al-Bukhari) *********************************************************************************************** "Marriage is my sunna. Whosoever keeps away from it is not from me." |
| Sufyan reported on the basis of the same chain of transmitters (and the words are): A woman who has been previously married (Thayyib) has more right to her person than her guardian; and a virgin's father must ask her consent from her, her consent being her silence, At times he said: Her silence is her affirmation. Sahih Muslim, Book 008, Number 3308 <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> "And if a woman has reason to fear ill-treatment from her husband or that he might turn away from her" (HQ 4:128) A'isha said in connection with the verse that it was revealed in case of a woman who had long association with a person (as his wife) and now he intends to divorce her and she says: Do not divorce me, but retain me (as wife in your house) and you are permitted to live with another wife. It is in this context that this verse was revealed. Sahih Muslim Book 043, Number 7165. 'A'isha said in connection with these words of Allah, the Exalted and Glorious:" And if a woman has reason to fear ill-treatment from her husband or that he might turn away from her" that it was revealed in case of a woman who lived with a person and perhaps he does not want to prolong (his relationship with her) whereas she has had sexual relationship with him (and as a result thereof) she got a child from him and she does not like that she should be divorced, so she says to him: I permit you to live with the other wife. Sahih Muslim Book 043, Number 7166. |